There are no fast and hard rules regarding sex, and this includes first time sex. Below are some of the things that would assist someone towards first time sex regardless whether you are doing it within the confinements of matrimony or one of those stolen moments of youthful life.
1. Safety: Ensure that you are engaging in safe sex either by using protection or ensuring that your partner is tested and is sexually healthy. Talk with your partner regarding it and decide beforehand on use of protection, and even if it gets you by surprise, insist on protection. Better be safe than sorry.
2. Don’t have too high expectation: Sex improves with time and first time sex may be awkward to totally disappointing. But it is normal. With time, you will get used to it as you get to know each others’ bodies, and as you discover your own body in depth. The first encounter is one of the many encounters.
3. Relax: First time sex is often much tensed and nerve wrecking to some people, not to forget that it may also be painful to outright traumatic depending on how it is done. Taking long, deep breaths can help you relax.
4. Communicate: Let your partner know what feels good and what does not feel good. Cooperate with your partner to make the moment memorable to him/her. Don’t put your partner in some awkward situation either e.g. laughing at something he/she does not know.
5. Don’t assume: Avoid assuming that your partner is an expert who will offer you a ride to glory instantly. Many people get misinformation from friends, porn, rumors, etc. Even if your partner is experienced, every person is unique and what works for him/her may not work for someone else.
6. Foreplay: Regardless of how it is being done, don’t forget to utilize foreplay. Kiss, hug, embrace, caress each other more to help each other relax, the body to warm up, the vagina to get lubricated and the penis to get well engorged. This may help reduce any anxiety or pain.
7. Don’t expect an orgasm: Most ladies don’t attain an orgasm the first time they have sex, or even the first time they have sex with a new partner. Orgasm comes as a result of trust and heightened level of comfort with each other. Even most guys the first time they just ejaculate without any feeling of pleasure and joy associated with orgasm.
8. Guys’ penis may malfunction: Most guys are also tensed and anxious the first time they have sex, and also the first time they have sex with a new partner. This may result in premature ejaculation, erectile difficulty, to total psychologically induced erectile dysfunction. Don’t make it a big deal since this normally clears itself with time when two lovers get more intimate and used to each other.
9. Lady's vagina may malfunction: The tension associated with having sex for the first time or with a new person can make the lady's vaginal muscles to tense up so much such that penetration will not be possible. This is common with virgins or women who don't normally experience satisfactory sexual encounters e.g. painful sex. The problem however clears itself with time.
10. Don’t fake an orgasm: Doing so you will only be cheating yourself. If he did not give you an orgasm, let him know that he did his best, and this will keep him motivated.
11. Stay close: After first time sex, it is common for many people to feel used, violated, guilty, and resentful and other mixed feelings. This is normal. To assist in such negative feelings, stay close to your partner emotionally e.g. by calling often, doing a follow up call after you depart, reassuring of each other’s love etc.
12. Stay healthy: Eat well after the first sexual encounter, engage in constructive activities, socialize with people, etc. This is to assist the body and mind to fully recover from an otherwise anxious moment and to be able to move on with normal life.
The above rules can be adapted to each individual needs, suited whether it is first time sex, or first time sex with a new partner. The article however does not cover rape, child molestation and other anti-social first times sexual encounters.
